Insomniac's blog

I did something tonight that I normally don't do...I watched a movie. I watched Hitch just for fun. I loved Hitch's advice on dating. Women have always been difficult creatures to figure out. I'm not all that feminine, but even I am a little girlie-ish sometimes. There is one thing that men do that I love. I love to be complimented. But, there is a fine art to complimenting women. So, in the true manner of the movie, here's my rules for complimenting women:

1. Say what you mean...to a certain extent. If you think she has beautiful hair, teeth, smile, eyes, please say just that. "You have beautiful eyes." Simple, direct, and to the point. However, if you think she has the biggest breasts you have ever seen, please do not say that to her. I guess what I am saying is that discretion is important in a compliment.

2. Don't wait for the "right" moment for a compliment. Say it when you think it, but always keep rule one in mind.

3. Don't draw it out. Don't try to add to your compliment. It will seem false then.

4. It does not have to be Shakespearean. Please do not say, "Your lips are like roses". Ewhhh. Yuck.

5. Compliments are a little like Ex-lax. Too many in a short time will cause problems. Limit yourself to one or two simple compliments over the space of a few days. It will keep her thinking, "What did he mean by that"? And, it will make her desire to hear more. But, if you compliment too much it will seem either false or make her so suspicious when you don't compliment her.

6. Don't expect a compliment in return. Don't allow her to wait awkwardly while she searches for something nice to say back. Get the conversation rolling again. She'll compliment you in due time.

7. Act nonchalant. A compliment is not a declaration of love.

8. You know she will like the compliment if she gives you a little longer look and a slight smile. Again, act nonchalant.

Guys, try this out if you have an awkward time complimenting women. Oh, also watch Hitch for a little more advice. And my women friends out there...tell me I'm not wrong on these rules...