Insomniac's blog

Okay, for those out there who do not realize that I was a teenage mom, here goes. My oldest daughter was born when I was 17. She's almost 14 now, so I'll let you do the math on that. Anyhow, Myah (my daughter) started high school on Tuesday this week. At first I wasn't overly concerned. I mean, I was concerned but she is a good kid with a decent head on her shoulders, so I figured that high school wouldn't be too brutal to her. Well, I was feeling a bit more concerned tonight. Nothing major happened, except that Myah went to her first high school football game unchaperoned by me or her dad. Not only that, but after the game she went to the post-game dance at her school. Yikes! I went to fetch her at 11:30 pm and found the parking lot and gym where the dance was completely packed with high schoolers. These people reminded me of my high school days and then I thought about all the shit I got into---the parties, the guys, the drinking, the smoking, well...you get the picture. Now Myah is much better behaved than I was and I like to think I have a better understanding of that time in life than my mom had, but for a moment there I was worried about her. Did I teach her the right things? Did I instill enough morals and personal worth in her so she doesn't make stupid mistakes? Does she know what to do if she is harrassed by some guy? In short, have I been a good mom, good enough to know that my child is safe on her own? I know, perhaps I am being a bit overly dramatic, but I sure hope she turns out to be a lot smarter than I was. To her credit, she did have a good time and she was more than willing to spend the car ride home telling me all about the dance and the few guys she danced with (just fast-dancing, no slow, clingy dancing). That made me feel a bit better because as long as she is willing to tell me things like that, and as long as I don't freak out over the little things, then she should be able to enter adulthood in a normal and healthy fashion.

On a totally and completely unrelated note...and since this is the confessions of a teenage momma queen...lately I have been increasingly aware of a semi-bizarro crush on a certain guy that I have been nursing like a poor man's gin and tonic. No, I will not give any pertinent details since people out there in the internets know me to a certain extent and I don't want anyone trying to line up who I am envisioning. Anyhow, since I am 31 it is totally and completely inappropriate of me to be interested in anyone, minus my husband, but this one guy just seems to do it for me. He is just...mmmmm...yeah, like that. So, any suggestions out there on how to purge myself of an inappropriate crush? Gawd, I am way too old for this shit...