Insomniac's blog

So, things are okay. I feel like I am in a baseball game and it is bottom of the ninth with bases loaded, two outs, and a hell of a pitcher on the mound and I am next up to bat. Yep, the pressure to perform is on. It is a good thing I am a stress-junkie...addicted to deadlines and others' expectations. If I wasn't I would be tempted to hang it all up now. I have an incredible amount of schtuff to do for school and I am losing my gumption. I have a ten page research paper to do on Shakespeare before Tuesday and, while I know what I want to write, the words can't seem to get out of my head and onto paper. I've spent the last two days (11 hours in fact) pouring over articles which relate to my topic and I feel like I have a good grasp of the topic but yet, nothing. SIGH...Sigh...sigh. My Shakespeare paper is due on Tuesday, so I still have a little time left. I also have a short assignment to do for my history class. No big deal, but it does require a little bit of work from me. I also have to finish two lesson plans for my pedagogy project for my Teaching Writing to Adolescents class. That is time consuming...not too difficult, but it just takes time. The history assignment is due on Tuesday and the lesson plans on Wednesday. Starting Thursday I have to write a ten page research paper for my history class. So, in other words, no rest for the wicked...or the weary apparently.

I know...I know. I'm getting a little bitchy. I was thinking about what is on my plate for the next year and it put me in a mood. Usually, after a hectic semester like this one, I take a week off to relax, clean my house properly, spend time with the progeny, and do some pleasure reading. That won't be happening after this semester though. Since I got that summer research grant, I will be jumping into my research as soon as I am done with this semester. Plus, over the summer I am taking two more classes. Then, come fall, I will be teacher assisting in a middle school English class, taking the three required seminars that go with teacher assisting, and taking my final history class. After fall semester, I have a semester of student teaching in history, which means 40 plus hours in a high school and the corresponding seminars for student teachers. All in all, life is going to be crazy busy until next April. Phffffwww...is all I can say.

I guess I shouldn't be so bad about it all. I mean, I have a great opportunity ahead of me. Doors are open to me that are shut to so many around the world and I should savor every day. I love learning and explaining (teaching) things about history and literature to others. I love the classroom. I love the ability to test my intelligence (or lack thereof) and of talking to others who love learning as much as I do. My life is good.

So, instead of getting all pissy about the upcoming assignments I think I will start viewing them as an extension of my abilities. And, instead of getting pissy about the upcoming year, I think I will start viewing it as a challenge to me both intellectually and emotionally. I've been put up to bat and I am not going to strike out now.