Insomniac's blog

Well Hello again! I have been horribly bad about posting as of late. I think part of it is because I have all this writing to do for my classes and I simply do not have the will to write outside of classwork. Plus, life is busy. Plus, I have assigned myself more extracurriculars. Plus again, I have been bouncing myself around in a tizzy to get things done. Okay...enough excuses for my waywardness in updating y'all on my crazy life.

First things first...updates on the homefront...

Myah is officially off her grounding. Yay for the whole family. Kids think we ground them because we get some sort of pleasure from it. Little do they know that groundings are actually harder on us than them. Like I really need to listen to the incessant whining of a teenager for two solid weeks. Like I really want to to be referred to as the "evil mom who doesn't let me do anything" and "why can't you be like so-and-so's mom...they don't care" and the ever-popular "bad things don't happen here...bad things won't happen to me". Ahhhh, ignorance. Anyhow, things are back to normal in the household. The Boy has a bit of a late winter cold. Princess is just as princessee as normal. Oh! I did cut The Boy's and Princess's hair the other night. Princess had this uber-long beautiful blond-brown hair. She saw me cutting The Boy's hair and begged for her hair to be cut off short. I cut her hair in a just longer than chin length bob. Princess loves it! I caught her primping in front of the mirror after I finished cutting it.

Darling had the hardware (plates and screws) taken out of his ankle/leg last week. He is hobbling around a bit and is determined to be off the crutches and walking more by next week. I give him props. That was one hell of a broken leg and he has been a trooper. A whiny trooper but a trooper nonetheless.

Now for school at the ole GVSU...

Classes have been steadily improving for me. It has taken me awhile to get used to the whole fulltime classes thing. My special history class is finally making some progress which thrills me and has gotten me quite excited. By April we should have a very nice finished product to show for two semesters of work and perserverance. My other history class is bitchingly awesome. I simply love the topic (Antebellum United States culture). Plus, the class environment is extremely good. We have quite a few students in that class who actually contribute and seem to want to be there. Nice, nice indeed. My Shakespeare class is okay. I still do not care too much for ole Bill Shakespeare, but at least I can say that I am learning a new appreciation for Bill. That class environment is good too. Becky, from ENG 311 from last summer is in Shakespeare and we both ride the bus to class. Becky and I have a good time talking about a variety of topics on the bus rides. Next week we have our midterm exams and a group of us from Shakespeare are headed to a local pub/eatery after the exam. That should be fun. My Teaching Writing to Adolescents class is probably one of the most enjoyable English classes I have ever taken. It is a three hour class and the time just flies by every week. I can honestly say that I am learning a lot about teaching and a lot about how I want to teach English Language Arts. We are headed to a special conference in a few more weeks for that class and I am geeked about it. I am a conference nerd...can't help it. Something about the variety of sessions to attend and the networking that can be done fuels me.

Besides classes, things at the old GVSU are going extremely well. I am part of a committee that one of the history profs organized to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. I know, big title, yes? Anyhow, we are to have our first meeting at the end of March and the organizing prof has asked me to help him out with several things for the meeting. I am one of only about two or three students who are on the committee...the rest are professors or museum and community professionals. I was honored and a little surprised that I was asked to be part of this. I will have to remember, of course, that I am just a student and not to overstep my bounds. I also have organized the last museum tour for the academic year. We are going to a mansion on Lake Michigan which is in the stages of restoration and historic preservation. After the tour, we are going out for dinner. I think it will be a good final tour. I have no idea if anyone will keep the museum tours up next year but I hope so. The tours have been incredibly successful and the turnout for each tour almost doubles each time a tour is offered. I won't be coordinating it next year because I will be student teaching and stuff, plus I will be busy with the abolition committee. I just won't have time to organize museum tours.

Things with my FOM (friend of mine) are just dandy. We actually saw quite a bit of each other this last week and enjoyed many a cup of good coffee. I missed him horribly for awhile. Oh, I actually had some guy in one of my classes see me getting coffee with FOM and asked how long we had been dating! I started laughing right then! I guess it is an honest mistake though since FOM and I do get along quite well. And trust me, I don't mind being mistaken for FOM's woman...he is awfully appealing. As a matter of fact, quite a few of the ladies at my school who know him think that he is quite appealing too.

Anyhow, that is about it. My life is always in the fast lane but I like it like that. I hope I satisfied the curiousity of the three people who still read this. And no, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...

Why is it that on every Valentine's Day all the perky, booby-bouncy gals at my school think they need a boyfriend or flowers or some other bullshit? I mean, come on! Have they never heard of the bra-burning advocates like Gloria Steinhem or Betty Friedan? I'm no uber-FemiNazi myself, but when women put themselves in docile, need-a-man positions, well, as a fellow woman I get a little perturbed. I had the pleasure of listening to a conversation on campus today between two young women. The one was almost bawling because she had no man to celebrate Valentine's Day with. Her friend was trying to console her and offered to take her out for dinner. I couldn't help but thinking that this young woman didn't need dinner, instead she needed a kick in her ass. Men do not define us, well at least not me...too much. I will admit that my Darling does have some say in my life but for the most part I call my own shots.

I decide what I am going to do and where I will go. If he wants to join along then, most times, he is welcome. There is no way I am going to sit idly by while he decides my life for me, and believe me, if he could make all of my life choices he would!

So anyhow, women, suck it up. Do not let yourselves be defined by men and what they do for you. I would encourage you to read this list of people and look them up on Wikipedia. There are strong women out there...be one of them.

This week has been much better than last week. I got a lot of work done for school and, while I still have a lot more to do, I can now finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I also had my museum tour on Thursday. It was a little crazy. There were about 50 people who went on this tour so I kinda expected it to be a little nuts. We went to the Public Museum of Grand Rapids. They have a special traveling exhibit on Ancient Egypt. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it and it was a fantabulous exhibit. Plus, one of the professors who went with us is an Egyptian archeologist so she was very helpful in understanding what some of the items were and what they meant. Also, the museum provided us with a special guide who could read heiroglyphics and who knew quite a bit about the artifacts. Very nice indeed.

After the museum tour, we had another tour of the City Archives and Records Collection. The CARC also holds the rest of the Public Museum's collection. Wow, this place was absolutely amazing! It is a historian's dream. I am determined to get back there sometime soon to do some research on something. They have a huge room with row upon row of antique furniture, a long row with cases of guns and knives and swords, not to mention the paper archives. I was impressed.

Things at home are okay. Princess and The Boy are getting a little bit of cabin-fever. I may take them to the McDonald's playland today so they can get out of the house. It is snowing here and the kids have been cooped up with Darling because I have been in school the last three days. I have a couple of papers to edit and I may bring the laptop with me if we go to McDonald's. Just call me a multi-tasking momma!

Anyhow, it has been a much better week. My FOM and I even got a chance to hang-out a bit on Tuesday and slug down some coffee. Very nice. I have to keep reminding myself to make time for my friends. I get so caught up in my own little world that I often forget about others. Anyhow, that's it for now. If I just keep punching away at things...eventually I will get time to smell the roses.

Wow. What an awful week. I have been so disappointed by so many of the people I love that I could almost have a poor, poor pitiful me party. I found out a friend had been lying to me, which I already blogged about. We had a talk about it on Thursday and I think things are okay now. I just hope the nature of our friendship hasn't changed because I really do enjoy being around my friend. It has been a long time since I had a friend like this one and I hope we can still remain the same as before.

On Friday I found out that my oldest daughter Myah had been lying to me and deceiving me. She isn't allowed to have boyfriends because I don't want her to have to deal with all the drama of relationships yet. Myah is thirteen and in 8th grade. I want her to be able to have fun and do well in school. Boys are a distraction for her. Plus I am scared to death that she will follow in my footsteps. I had sex for the first time when I was in 8th grade and by the end of 9th grade I was pregnant. There is no way Myah is capable of understanding the dymanics that go into sexual relationships yet. I just want her to have an easier and less-complicated life than I had. Sex at a young age just makes life a hell of a lot harder. Myah hasn't had sex but boyfriends make the possibility of it a whole lot closer.

Then, not only did I find out about the boyfriends, but I also found out that she stole money from Princess and that she has been text-messaging and using the internet on her phone. Myah was told not to text-message or use the internet on her cell because it costs extra. So far, as close as we can figure it, her extras has cost us about $100 in the last three months. And here I thought she was trustworthy and being responsible!

My last truly disappointing moment happened last night. I was trying to tell Darling about the schoolwork I needed to get done this weekend. Out of nowhere he got all pissed off and started yelling at me. He told me that my whole life revolved around school and that I didn't include him in anything. I told him that I thought I had struck a good balance between school and home. I told him that the kids are clean and well-fed, the house is clean, I cook for the family, I spend every possible moment that I am not at school with the kids. How am I not devoting enough time to home? Darling said that I don't talk to him about anything but school. Well, I found that irritating because when I try to talk to him about anything else he just gives me the grunt and watches television. It is true though. All we have to talk to each other about is school, work, kids, and bills. What really pissed me off about his bitching was that he told me, "I know you won't leave because if you do, you know that you won't be able to go to school anymore. You need me for my money." Oh yes, that pissed me off. And the horrible thing is, it is true to a certain extent. I do need him for his money. But I also don't believe in calling it quits just because we don't always see eye-to-eye. So it all basically comes down to this...according to Darling, I am selfish, mean-spirited, ungrateful, a bad mom, a bad wife, and I don't give enough of myself to my family.

Shit. I had no idea I was so damn horrible. Hmmm, it does say something about him though doesn't it? I mean, if he stays with me it must be that he loves to be the long-suffering martyr with a wayward bitch of a wife. Oh well. I guess I just suck. Yep, I am going to have a poor, poor pitiful me party.