Insomniac's blog

No, this is not some posting about Star Wars...I'm not a sci-fi geek. The title refers to the evil empire of Starbuck's Coffee, a.k.a. Preppy Coffee for Those Who Have No Idea What Coffee Should Taste Like. I was at Meijer (the store that has everything from milk to all the supplies needed to make Crystal Meth) picking up some stuff for dinner and some personal items, and I got this insatiable need for coffee. Now, you must understand, I am totally and hopelessly addicted to coffee. I love coffee. Anyhow, I had the scrumps for a decent cup of coffee. My choices were as follows; either I could wait until I got home and brew up some home coffee or I could purchase a cup at Starbuck's in Meijer. Now this really cracks me up because there is a Starbuck's in Meijer and a Starbuck's stand-alone shop just within viewing as soon as you exit Meijer. Sheesh...it is like Starbuck's has taken over in my hometown. I used to go to The Buzz for coffee. The Buzz was this great little non-preppy coffee place just a half-mile or so from Meijer. I used to go there about once a week to work on homework and suck down some really good on-tap coffee (on-tap refers to regular coffee and not those foo-foo coffee drinks). But, The Buzz closed down a few weeks ago because it couldn't compete with the Evil Starbuck's.

Where was I? Oh yes, scumping for coffee. Anyhow, I decided to once again give Starbuck's the benefit of doubt and try something there. I ordered a Latte, which is unusual for me since I normally drink on-tap coffee. Well, after I shelled out my $3.13 for a small latte, I tried a sip. Ughhh! It was warm, that is about the only positive thing I can say about it. The coffee was weak and the milk used to froth it up had a strange flavor to it. But the Dutch in me came out and I figured that since I paid so much for it I would just drink the damn thing.

I really do not know why people go so nuts for Starbuck's. I do not like their coffee. It either tastes burnt or tastes too weak. And you pay way too much for it. I once saw on television that the most expensive coffee sells for over fifty dollars a cup. The reason why it is so expensive is because of its special processing. I guess the way it is processed is that some sort of cat eats the coffee beans and then poops them out. The beans are collected from the cat-poo and then used to make coffee. Now don't get me wrong, I do love coffee, but there is no way I am going to drink something that a cat pooped out. Maybe Folger's or Maxwell House isn't so bad after all?

Anyhow, maybe Starbuck's gets their coffee from the cat-poo bean growers and that is why it is so expensive. I know that I will not be giving Starbuck's another chance to ruin coffee for me.